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a god-damn bun

today is one of those days where I alternately very sad and am happy, sometimes just laugh out on it and remember several strange occurrences.

so I was on such a few months ago at a seminar. sitting next to me a relatively good friend. or a known good, however. he was terribly hungry and I had a fresh bun, which I had bought an hour earlier. he asked me jokingly that I would probably ask for it and I said 'Fifty cent'. He laughed, I laughed. 'How much you paid for it? " he asked, although he knew that the rolls cost at only a few blocks further away baker fifteen cents.

I'll give you 20 'he said. I refused and insisted on the '50 '. he looked in his wallet, I said quickly, "Ah Well. I'd best not be. 48 '. He grinned at me with a slightly irritated looking and kept looking in the purse.
we negotiated a little further and agreed finally cent to 37. he paid with one, two and five-cent pieces. I had to smile when he finally makes the bun and wanted to bite him now lying before me Münzenberg push them back over.

but I did not. although I found myself notsition to this time in any (even when you are in distress, pah! what are already cursed cent 37?) and, actually, otherwise very wasteful ('impulsive') handle money, I just sat there and watched attach to him.

the moment in which I had the money you want to move over casually, was long gone and so I put it on. I've never in my life before I even disgusted. hours later when I myself was on the way home, I finally took the money from his pocket and threw it on the road. what a theatrical act! Despite that, I was ashamed the next day so profoundly that I did not even went to the seminar, simply because I had the feeling, it not being able to connect under your eyes.

it was here not about the bun, and I felt like one of those capitalist pigs, but I had so often reviled. it was my ideal that I had sold! It did not help, a little break to read, I felt it only worse. even if it seemed stupid to me plenty of balance, a matter of feeling the same, want to, by which it was created, I invited him for a long time even on a beer.

[the course helped nor, I am ashamed today. But the worst thing is that in diesem eintrag 43 mal das wörtchen 'ich' (und formen seiner deklination) vorkommt währenddessen da draussen täglich tausende menschen erbärmlich verhungern. jaja, das ego..]